Well, I say "we." I don't mean we at all. Relaxed is my preferred mode of existence. I say we, but I mean "they" - people, others. My fellow teachers. The people with whom I am making this adventure, for better or worse. I will be perfectly honest here and say that this is my number one fear: that
Because I don't.
Now, before you dismiss me as one of Them, those fly-by-night, doing-it-for-the-money, doesn't-care-about-the-kids TEFLers who are secretly still on spring break... Actually, dismiss me as such if you like. I'm not entirely fly-by-night, the money absolutely plays a part in my decision to move to Abu Dhabi, and I do care about the kids--but it is not my purpose on earth to save them.
Teaching English is my job. Did you catch that? My job. It is not who I am, it's what I do in order to earn money so I can carry on living in some comfort. It is not my raison d'être. I am not a save-the-world type. I'm a see-the-world type.
Not that I don't do my job. I do. And I mainly enjoy it. And I like to think I'm pretty good at it (once I know what's going on). It's just not my sole purpose in life. And I'm not going to save the world, or the children, or the whales. I'm just going to teach English, and probably some related things, quite by accident. If I'm lucky, I'll teach independent thought.
And those kids will be awesome. And/or terrible. And my administration will be awesome. And/or terrible. And no doubt I'll learn oodles. I always learn oodles. Like where all the coffee shops are in a 5 mile radius. How to get lost, and then found, and then lost again. Enough of the local language to get by or at least get started. New concepts of fashion. Where to go to watch the water. Pop music. And everything else!
But whilst all this Very Important teaching and learning and career advancing is going on, I refuse to let it suck me down into the vortex. I expect to thoroughly enjoy my life, wherever it takes me. And this, I know from experience (after being the only person in a group working overseas to actually insist on taking a day off to go shopping), is perceived as being flighty and empty-headed. Saying that my favourite colour is glitter or spending unhealthy amounts of money on pretty underpinnings or tweeting through the September issue of Vogue or going out for a latte when I should be saving money for something else...these are all dismissed as the activities of a woman who needs to get serious. Whereas I feel these are the actions of a person who has decided to enjoy her life, every bit. And if that means I buy flowers instead of bread, drink wine while marking papers, go swimming while fat, laugh out loud while reading, well...
Then I guess that's what I am.
Frivolous.
There. Now you know. Judge me as you like.
(I just hope that there are a few of you out there who also prefer to enjoy the ride...while wearing sparkly shoes...)
7 comments:
You know, I used to be the "this is my life," "I was born to do this," "I will make their lives better" kind of teacher. Until...I had my own children. Now, the only lives I am determined to save are theirs! Thank you for posting this...let's drink coffee (or iced tea) while the boys play on the beach!!!
I thought that when I started teaching. But then there came (or then I was affected by) the push to get all my students on a college track. I worked in a VERY poor district, at an alternative school. College was a nice dream for my students, and of course I encouraged them to think about long-term education, but, I mean...my first goal was to teach them the skills necessary to make it through a school day (or better yet, through a school year!) without getting kicked out.
That's when I realised that I didn't want or need to "save" the children from their lives - I needed to supply them with the skills necessary to save themselves. My students in Thailand wanted to learn business English so that they could attend international medical conferences. So I taught them what I could to forward them in their goals. In Houston my kids needed to know HOW TO READ AND WRITE. So that's the skill set we focused on. In the UAE...well, I don't know what students I'll have, but if they're high school girls, they need to gain enough fluency in English to get to university and get into their programs in year one. So that's what I'll teach.
Save the world? No. I mean, why do we think it needs saving? Or that WE are the ones with The Answers?
We're not Deep Thought. This isn't the Hitchhikers Guide...and I'm pretty sure the answer's not 42. So I'll just carry on teaching the skill set I happen to be good at (nope - not physics) and let someone else try to save the world.
No doubt someone with Sensible Shoes.
Frivolous is GOOD...and everyone needs a little frivolous in their life. I hope to find a pair of sparkly shoes to wear...but if I have to wear my sensible shoes, I shall do that as well...because sometimes life is about the destination...and other times it's about the journey. I will definitely spend time being frivolous with you...but I think they frown on us running in the fountains;-)
Okay, fair enough. No fountain frolicking. But I'm planning on leaving my crocs in the US. There's sensible...and then there's Sensible.
I agree. Teaching is important to me - but not so important that the rest of my life goes by the wayside.
I loved this blog. I know exactly where you are coming from. I am doing the same. I'm not just moving to Abu Dhabi for my career but to have an eperience and I am not worried about not saving money as I want to treat myself and have fun!!!
I am young with no ties so why not :o)
Mimi,
Beautifully expressed. I think so many people forget the importance of having FUN. I found teaching after several different jobs and careers, and I love it, but I also remember that I am more than the career. I will gladly wear sensible & silly shoes.
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