Making Icing in the Rice Cooker, and other truths universally unacknowledged

Hi.

It's me.

The blogger formerly known as dependable.

Mimi.

I've missed you, and the guilt of not talking with you has caused me to put off talking to you even longer. And then I woke up, looked around, and it was March.

Oops.

Sorry.

I love you, don't leave me!

No, really. Don't leave. I have fun and exciting things to tell you. And they begin with alcoholic cupcakes.

Are you ready?

Wait. Just a minute. I need to go stir the frosting that's warming to spreadable viscosity in my rice cooker. Because microwaves are for squares, man.

Right. Back to typing.

~*~

Several months ago (or two severals, let's not get hung up in the details) I moved to Abu Dhabi to start teaching English to high school girls. For the past two several months, that is what I have been doing. And here's how teaching goes:

If you teach girls, your day is longer than if you teach boys. Why? Because the (segregated) schools share buses, and boys go home first. If you teach primary (Cycle 1) your day is longer than if you teach kindergarten, but shorter than if you teach high school (Cycle 3). I teach high school girls. My school day is roughly 19 hours long. 

Okay, maybe it's closer to 9 hours, but still. 730 to 330 is long, especially when you add a 30 minute (very short compared to the potential 90-minute commutes some teachers have) commute on either side of it. And it's a very draining day. There are 7 lessons a day in my school (other schools have 9-lesson days, but their lessons are 45 minutes each, which in reality means they're 30 minutes each, and it's basically untenable unless you have blocked schedules, which most schools do not....but I digress). 

Teachers do not have classrooms, students have classrooms. The kids stay in one place (more or less - mostly less) all day, and the teachers come to them. For any teacher readers I have, you will recognise that this undermines any sense of authority you might have, right from the start. Again, untenable, but it's what happens. It also means I share my classroom with 10-12 teachers, teaching 10-12 subjects, and I do that for 3 different classes. So I can't have a seating chart, I can't be at the door when class begins, I can't post educational bits and pieces or student work or anything else unless I do it in triplicate. 

This also means I haul all of my classroom necessities from one room to the next, all over the school. And since our students aren't to have the responsibility of taking their "textbooks" home with them, I have to carry THOSE all over the school, too.

It's all just a bit silly, if you ask me.

On the other hand, I have an office. I share this office with 5 other truly awesome English teachers. Our department, at least, is centralised.

~*~

Another Very Special Part of working in Abu Dhabi: sick notes. So, we have 15 sick days per year. However, in order to get paid for these sick days, we have to get sick notes. Behold, the sick note process:

Wake up in the morning feeling rather UNlike P Diddy, decide you just can't teach, as you're puking, sneezing, and practically dead. Text your school (HoF, Vice Principal, and carpool at the very least). Then decide if you're human enough to go to the hospital.

If you're very fortunate, you have found a place that makes appointments, takes our insurance, and can squeeze you in between rounds in the bathroom. If you're not that fortunate (or, like me, not that organised), you go to the local hospital's clinic. And then you wait. It's like ER for non-ER cases. 

So you see your GP, explain your problem, and get a prescription for whatever (usually Panadol, which is Tylenol), and go get stamps. The Clinic has to stamp your sick note. The hospital has to stamp your sick note, the HEALTH AUTHORITY has to stamp your sick note. By the time these things are completed, it's between noon and 3pm - IF you started before 8am. If you decided to get a little sleep before going to the hospital clinic, and get there around 9am, chances are you won't leave the hospital before 3pm. The health authority closes at 3pm, so you will have to go another day to get that stamp. Or send a non-teacher friend to take care of that little issue for you.

THEN you have to scan this sick note, along with the school form, into your computer and upload it into a last-century online document tracking system. If you're lucky, your sick leave will be approved sometime before the end of the month. And recuperation? You know, getting rest so that you can come back to school refreshed, healthy and ready to go? Dream on. You don't get sick time for THAT, silly!

~*~

Paper shuffling is an art form here. The more people who have to approve something (anything), the more people are employed. Government oversight is massive. Behemoth, one might say.

Whatever. I guess the challenge of the sick note (I mean, sometimes your sickness doesn't require a doctor, sometimes it's just a cold) stops people from calling out sick. Except until it goes around the whole office and half the school and people are dropping like flies. For real. And instead of one sick person, there are twelve, and no one to cover your classes. It's not really a functional system, but it's a system, and it works for someone. And they're paying me amply for the paper chase, so again: whatever.

~*~

And the great and mighty bureaucracy brings me back to the beginning: alcoholic cupcakes. 

You wouldn't think it, but alcohol is ample and readily available in this Muslim country. Of course, it is overseen by the government, too, as controlled substances are. In order to legally purchase the alcohol required for my Irish Car Bomb cupcakes (Bailey's, Jameson's and Guinness), I need a liquor license. For that I need a letter from my employer, a salary statement, a copy of my ID (lol, the ID), passport, proof that I'm not Muslim (Muslims cannot legally purchase alcohol, as it's not permitted in Islam), and an application. And a fee to pay, of course. 

Like everything else, making cupcakes is a process. Only, here, it requires weeks of the great paper chase in addition to things like finding cocoa powder (not too difficult) and bittersweet baking chocolate (impossible - substitute 70% cocoa bar from the candy aisle). Also, you learn to make do in the randomest ways in the kitchen. 

I don't have a mixer...so I use a fork.

I don't have a mixing bowl...so I use a pot.

I don't have a double boiler...so I use the rice cooker. 

I don't have a stove, so I use the hot plate.

I don't have an oven, so I use the toaster oven.

I don't have a microwave, so I use the rice cooker again.

Seriously, how did I live without a rice cooker?

~*~

In the end, St Patrick's Day weekend was as louche in Abu Dhabi as it is in South Carolina (Where? I hear you ask. South Carolina? wtf? Just trust me, ok). And the cupcakes...well, apparently, they were amazing. Perhaps made all the better due to the sheer effort required to make them.

I hope your holiday was at least as splendid as mine. And I hope your life has slightly less bureaucracy going on. But if it doesn't, well...at least we'll always have cupcakes. And homemade icing in the rice cooker. 

Miss Me?

So. It's October now. I have missed two whole months of blogging.

That's right, I've turned into one of Those Bloggers - you know, the ones who start with the grandest of intentions then disappear forever?

C'est moi.

I won't tell you how many other blogs/pages/identities I have online. Okay, I will. Closest estimate is...five email addresses, 8-10 blogs, 2-4 facebook pages, only one twitter (I deleted the other one), and semi-active participation on several fora. To say I don't blog is to say I don't blog here. The lack of internet access at school has actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as those are the few hours of the day/week/whatever when I'm not online, posting, thinking, digesting.

I think I may have to cut back.

ANYWAY.....

Right. So I live in Abu Dhabi now. My facebook page/group has turned into a mudslinging free-for-all with hints of sanity popping through from time to time. I try to avoid it and have more or less given up moderating - because they're all adults, and if "just sayin'" is the persona they want to put out there, then more power to them. Or less, as the case may be.

My apartment is small, and on the 18th floor. To the left I can see (besides more construction, which is the main architectural theme of Abu Dhabi) Sheikh Zayed Mosque, which is the Grand Mosque, which really is quite grand. (No. I haven't been yet. Colour me lazy.) To my right I can see the other buildings in my construction site/complex. They are much nicer looking and larger apartments...but I think we have fewer problems in our building. Behind me is the Executive Airport (Al Bateen?) and ahead of me in the distance is some body of water - ultimately the Arabian Gulf. It's not so bad.

My friends are, to my consternation, all teachers. I live in a commune (and not the hippie kind, either) filled with teachers and families of teachers. This is the very opposite of what I hoped for, living in Abu Dhabi rather than Al Ain. On the other hand, I live in a proper city. With, y'know, stuff to do.

There's plenty to do in Al Ain, of course. Just...not city things.

My school is about 30 minutes down to road toward Dubai. It's apparently a pretty big school, and quite old. (By old, I mean about 20-25 years. They don't have actual old buildings here, unless they're national heritage sites.) It's all girls, of course, and I'm slowly coming to grips with what my job actually entails. (This changes on a daily - even hourly - basis, so progress is by the inch.) My girls are in grade 11 and vary in age from 14 to 19. They are pretty evenly split Emirati & non-Emirati. Every day they tell me my eyes are so beautiful (which is disconcerting, until I remind myself that my appearance is in every single way a completely foreign appearance...but still feels odd) and that my hair IS NOT ORANGE. That's right, they think I'm blonde.

My sister will never accept this.

The year started out with titters and whispers and "Why are you so fat?" I expected this and am not offended. I mean, it's not a secret to me that I'm rather large, so why shy away from the fact? I took a page from Jack Black's book and simply told my students I like to eat! Ice cream is delicious, y'all. Ask Ben & Jerry.

Besides my physical appearance, my students seem to like me. It's an uphill struggle, and I have more than one student who just sits there and stares at me for the hour and does nothing. On the other hand, I have a few students who are overachievers. (I have NEVER taught overachievers before and am at a loss other than to tell them to bring something to do in class while we wait for the talkers to shut up. Not that I say shut up, of course.) One class I have promised to teach a Spanish word a day, and they in turn teach me a new Arabic word a day. Better still, they teach me correct pronunciation! Sort of. And they titter and giggle and laugh outright when I actually use Arabic.


Some things, though, are the same the world over. Students are SHOCKED (shocked, I tell you!) when you overhear their complaints - especially in another language - and answer them in English. On Thursday (last day of our week - which starts on Sunday, lest you think we have it easy...which we kind of do) one of my students was complaining in Arabic to her seatmate about the work they had to do and why they couldn't do it at home.

And I answered her! 


You have never seen eyes so wide and round. It was awesome. And instantly shared across the classroom - Miss knows Arabic!

That's right, girls. Don't mess with me. As my Spanish-speaking students in Texas quickly learned (and my English-speaking students in England always resented), I know everything.

Everything.

And that which I do not know, I can surmise, guess, learn, or assume. Therefore, it's a rare day that my students get away with anything that I am not aware of. Sure, the little treasures get away with things every day. But usually those are just battles I am too tired to fight. Though if I hear "Sorry, Miss" one more time, I might actually scoop out my eyeballs with the broken end of a pencil and hang them from the white board.



But I think this is more than enough of an update for the past 2 months. I've left out loads, added some details that are utterly useless to the majority, and no doubt offended someone somewhere about something. Well, so it goes. Happy reading, friends. Now send me comments so I'm inspired to post more often!




photos from the following: blog4students.wordpress.com & northjersey.com

Mmm...Juice...

Today, in preparation for Abu Dhabi, I started juicing. I blame my friend, who turned me on to this film: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. He's about a week ahead of me and has already dropped a significant amount. And I looked around, and I looked down, and I looked in the mirror.

And I ran out of excuses.

I'm well accustomed to being the token fat girl in any gathering. And I don't usually mind. I'm not into body shaming, so I don't feel ashamed of my body, however wobbly it may be. (Very. It's very wobbly.) I mean, this body has gone around the world with me, had adventures, even worn cute clothes. So I'm not ashamed of it. Usually.

Imagine yanking this on AND THEN
all the rest of your clothes...

But it's hard work being fat. And it's even harder work being fat in a hot environment. I've been fat in Bangkok, Houston and Columbia (SC) - as well as other places - and I'm going to be fat in Abu Dhabi. And there are special considerations a fat girl must bear in mind when living in a hot environment. Considerations like...chafing. Crowds. Airplane seats (not specific to hot places, but specific to me getting to Abu Dhabi). Sweating. Too hot for spanx (other 21st century girdles are available). The doubled workload on my heart (already working hard for my weight, now working harder because it's so hot). And, I mean, shopping!

So I'm juicing. This is today's Abu Dhabi prep piece: drink juice. The bonus healthy bits include lowering my blood pressure (essential from the years of espresso and crap foods), getting all the gunk out, and just generally feeling better. Fruit and veg juices are the perfect meal for an aspiring vegan moving to the desert during Ramadan, no?

Useful Citizens of the Universe

I was reading an article in the Khaleej Times about teacher satisfaction surveys (after hearing from teachers who filled it out) and was struck anew at the delicate work that is translation.

He stressed that the ultimate aim of the Abu Dhabi education is to transform and help every child to become a man of good character and useful citizen of the universe. He added that we can achieve this through the quality of education, quality of teachers and quality of teaching learning process. (italics mine)

They got the subject-verb agreement down pat, and the singular nouns matching, but...well, I mean...

Look. I'm not making fun or trying to insult the editorial staff at Khaleej Times. Language is funny. And "useful citizen of the universe" is an excellent goal for all students: Emiratis, Martians - everyone.

That's What I Want

Saving up is going .........s........l.........o.......w..........l........y...........

A Note About Authentication

I am not sure why document authentication presents such a difficulty for so many of my fellow US LTs, but it is. So I'm going to break down my authentication process thus far. Perhaps it'll help.

First and foremost, GET STARTED EARLY!
If you haven't got your passport, get your pennies together (currently $140 plus the cost of passport photos - get extras, as they're multi-purpose when travelling) and get down to the post office today. Seriously, today. Passports can take 6-10 weeks to process (though it's never taken mine that long), and with a thousand or a million other people applying for their passports as well, why on earth would you wait?

Now. I only had two documents to authenticate: my teaching certificate and my Masters degree. I started the process on 28 February and just got back my last stamp and seal today. That's a month and a week. And I am fortunate to have the essential forms and formats already in my files, and to live in my state's capital city. That and paying for overnight mail in both directions cut my time down significantly. But here's the breakdown:

• Had copies of my 2 certs made, added a note stating "This is an authentic copy of the original document", took copies - and originals for notary to compare - to a notary public (found at your local bank often enough). I signed the copy in front of the notary, who notarised my signature. 2 hours finding a notary and figuring out exactly what was needed, 2 minutes to get the stamp, seal and signature. No fee.
• walked my 2 notarised documents into the Secretary of State's office. I called them first to make sure I knew what to do and where to go. (If you're not 100% sure what to do, always call first!) Requested a "foreign use stamp", got an authentication of notary for international use (nobody actually has a foreign use stamp, regardless of what Teach Away advised). 20 minutes, $2 per document. Sometimes it's good to live in South Carolina.
• Mailed notarised, authenticated documents to the US Department of State with an attached form/cover sheet found on the State Dept website. Elected to pay for express mail (overnight shipping) in both directions. $8 per document, plus $18 per express mail envelope. Took a full month to receive documents back from the State Department with signature and seal affixed.
• Mailed notarised, authenticate documents to the UAE Embassy. Also enclosed a letter (emailed to me) from my university declaring its accreditation. For extra assurance, I also printed off a copy of the accreditation record from the CHEA website. Again with the express mail cost. This step cost $30 per document, plus mail fees. Time: one week. 

If you have documents of identification (marriage certificates, birth certificates, adoption certificates, or other miscellaneous items (divorce & letter from ex-spouse permitting child to leave the country, death certificate for your child's other parent, etc), those documents follow a slightly different authentication process - basically, you have to get them directly from your State, not get notarised copies (the copy sent from your records dept will be notarised or whatever already), and carry on from there. These documents will take longer to get, and if they're from other states or countries, you must get them authenticated at the Secretary of State for the state (or equivalent for country) of the document's origin. (Certificates can be notarised anywhere.) 

Key item: Photocopies must be notarised and authenticated in the same state. And a notary will only do an in-person notarisation (because he's authenticating your signature, which he/she can't do unless you're signing it in front of them). So do what you can locally.

I think that's all I have for today. Other than a small celebration that I have all my paperwork completed now. And another celebration that it was far less effort-intensive than the stuff I had to do for my UK work visa. 

So I'm going to work. Happy paperchase, everyone!

Time for some fun.

Sometimes I get too caught up in the boring-though-important details of this blogging-for-posterity venture. I mean, sure, I want to create a practical resource for TEFLers who begin the international adventure after me, particularly those going to my current almost residence of Abu Dhabi.
Well, you're here for useful links and packing lists and expected time frames, aren't you? Except even I am bored by a boring blog. And I'm writing the thing! So today's post is devoted to pointless frivolity. Enjoy.
How do you say "caffe americano with 2 sugars and steamed soy" in Arabic?
أمريكانو مع اثنين من السكريات وفول الصويا على البخار
That's how!
And wherever will I use such a key phrase? Hmm...I'll have to check Time Out Abu Dhabi or Abu Dhabi Week!
http://www.timeoutabudhabi.com/ or   http://www.abudhabiweek.ae/
You know, there are other perks to living in the desert. I can stop highlighting my hair, for one. Also, the desert on the Gulf =

What more can a girl ask for, really?
Oh. Just...this:

Collecting Stamps

Today I received my teaching contract via email. I was surprised, as I expected to hear next week, not this. If Teach Away keeps surpassing my expectations like this, I'll be in the UAE before I can even buy sunscreen!

The contract is fairly straightforward. It's for 2 years, offers right about the pay I expected (and that, I admit, made my sister a bit jealous), and includes all extras mentioned (such as flights, furniture allowance, sick leave and probationary time (the first year). I will be flying out of Detroit, which should please my family, and I shall finally be able to pay off my student loans!

Next step is getting my documents authenticated. I only have two documents, happily: my teaching certificate and my degree. And I live in the state capital, so I should be able to get the first two steps (notarized and stamped by the Secretary of State) done Monday!

We have to get all these signatures and seals and stamps on color copies, not on the original documents.

There will be a fee at each step, for each document. For the first two steps, though, it is nominal. All it will take is time. (And, given my experience getting things done with South Carolina government offices, it'll probably take all day.)

After you get the "foreign use stamp" from your Secretary of State, it's off to the US Department of State. It's $8 per document there, and expect it to take 4-6 weeks. (That's what the website says, anyhow.)

Last step is also the most costly, $30 per document. Once you have all the correct stamps and seals and signatures, it's time to send your bits of paper off to the UAE Embassy. Last step! Well.....for now.

After reading about all the problems other people have had getting their paperwork in order and completed in a timely fashion, I don't foresee too much trouble here. The steps seem clear enough. So far. Ask me again on Monday.

Interview.

I have been avoiding this post since Sunday, when I had my interview. First I was exhausted (flying in and out of New York in one day is one thing. Making it a 23-hr journey on 3 hours of sleep....slightly less than wise), then I was deeply disappointed, then I had already gotten into the swing of chatting obsessively with other applicants on facebook, going over and over and over, trying to identify the outcome in perceived facial tics and compared questions. Big surprise, that got me nowhere fast. But today I have the day off, no real obligations, and time. Therefore I'm finally posting about the interview experience. Here are things you Simply Must Do: Dress Conservatively.


No, more conservatively than that.


No, now really.


Better. But button that collar. And I hope that skirt goes at least mid-calf. And you'd best not have naked legs! Next, now that we've got the appearance settled, are your bits of paper completed, in triplicate, and labelled accordingly? In a file? With the check list they gave you? And, just in case, have you made colour copies of everything? EVERYTHING? No? Well, do that. Also, have it all on a usb drive. Great. So now the superficial stuff is all taken care of. Well done. NOW it's time to prepare for the questions. Prepare for the questions. ADEC's history with Western teachers is chequered, you might say. They are very concerned that you'll do a runner. They're also concerned that you'll be an embarrassment to them, to your principal, to education itself. In past years the interviews may have been chatty and easy, with a pleasant conversational vibe - but those days are over now. They want teachers. (Hard to say exactly what they want, as I know well qualified and highly interesting teachers who haven't been hired, but I think that's even more reason to prepare thoroughly.) You need to have a good understanding of pedagogy and jargon, and you need to have a strong handle on classroom management. Be aware that "saving face" isn't just an East Asian custom, it's an everyone custom.

Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

 I was interviewed by two women who work for ADEC but are Western (Canadian and Scottish). They were very well trained in not giving anything away, to the point that I left that interview sure I didn't get the job. After the preliminary document check and whatever, the questions were tough, with follow-ups and challenges. My degree from a seminary was challenged (not "Oh surely this isn't a real degree" but "We do not want proselytisers") both at the beginning and end of the interview. There were questions about integrity (have it!); working with a principal who doesn't want you there (pick your battles!); how will you handle complaints because your students are used to getting EVERYTHING they want, including A's without achievement (document document document!); what your classroom will look like (student work! word walls!); how you will measure achievement (rubrics!); getting the quiet students to talk (multiple intelligences! group work!); etc. I used current non-political news to develop a classroom project on the spot. I talked about the necessary use of technology to both celebrate and inform my students and their parents. I talked about real-world outcomes and preparing my students for their actual lives, be that marriage or university or both. Over the course of my interview, I found that all my months of voraciously reading blogs, books and websites had been useful. I felt prepared. I was prepared. It was good. Then they hit me with their flags.

1. my appearance. It wasn't as conservative as I posted above (though it WAS as conservative as picture 2).
2. my reason for leaving the UK. I put "family emergencies". I should have written "visa expired". Both are true, but the second one would not have raised any flags. Family emergencies has been the excuse for other teachers to disappear like a thief in the night and has become an excuse as transparent as "Not tonight, honey, I've got a headache."
3. my World Mission past. They were really quite concerned about the fact that I used to be a missionary (they asked, I didn't volunteer - I'm not stupid) and that my MA came from a School of World Mission. I feel I responded well to that last concern, as I too am quite against proselytising.

All in all, I walked out of there utterly demoralised. Every bit of perspective was absolutely blown, and I was full of dread and anger (in equal parts). I have spent the last six months focused almost obsessively on learning everything I can about this job. Researching the country, the education system, the overhaul, the language. And for all that to be wasted because the interviewer didn't like my shirt? I couldn't believe it. And I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid as to tell EVERYONE what I was aiming for. People at work, friends on facebook, family...and now it was all for nothing. And I had to go back and accept my fate as one who is doomed to stay at home. In South Carolina.


And this is what I've been mulling over for the past few days.

Nonstop.

Obsessively.

Shamefacedly.

Angst-ridden.

Trying to decide on a course of action for after I heard the news officially.

Failing.

Trying not to cry like a little girl who just dropped her ice cream cone because this didn't work out.

And finally it was time to suck it up and post my experience, bring the blog to its right conclusion.

Today.

I didn't want to.

Instead I decided to watch House Hunters International.











Then my recruiter called me. This was it. The final nail in my coffin.























And they're offering me a contract. 

Right. An update.

Now that I'm a couple of weeks from my NYC in-person interview (or IPI for those in the know), I feel like maybe I should be preparing, studying, rehearsing, etc a lot more than I am. How much am I preparing? Not at all. Not for the interview, at least.

I'll tell you more about the actual interview later. You know, after I have it.

I have a flight. I have an outfit (I may revise my top, but I have an acceptable one if I can't replace it). I have tentative meet-up plans with other applicants/friends. I have 12 hours in New York.

Less superficially, I also have a work history that makes me pretty employable in the TEFL world. And I have two strong references in my possession, with two more (one hopes) on their way. And I am actively learning Arabic (when I'm not wasting time watching the Golden Globes), reading local (Abu Dhabi) news - still in English, though - and studying up on my cultural references. I'm certified in English teaching, experienced in ESL, experienced in international living/working/travel.

And I want it. I want this job so badly I can taste it. Please hire me, ADEC. Please!

Read. These. Things. I Mean It!

I know I've posted several blogs about different things I think everyone interested in going to Abu Dhabi to TEFL should read. This time I'm collecting everything in one place.

I try to keep "required reading" to a minimum, because really, other than me, who's going to read every single word they can find about AD? And after awhile it all gets a touch repetitive. That said, there are some pretty basic questions that could be answered by doing a little research before you ask. Or at least you'll get a feel of the place first. I'm a big advocate of getting a feel for a place. So here are some things YOU should read in order to get a feel, collect a basic understanding, at least find some sort of grounding on which to base the rest of your everything.

• A Diamond in the Desert by Jo Tatchell
• Lonely Planet: Oman, UAE & the Arabian Peninsula 
• UAE - Culture Smart!
• Your First 100 Words in Arabic 
• Arabic for Dummies (There's also Intermediate Arabic for Dummies, but take it one step at a time.)
• 17 Questions... by Beverly Gallagher 
• Dave's ESL Cafe
• The National, Khaleej Times, Al Ittihad (in Arabic, but translate until you don't need to), Time Out Abu Dhabi (local/national papers, plus Time Out for socialising outside the teacher scene)
• UK vs US Spelling (for practice teaching English to the ADEC standards)  

I have mentioned all or nearly all of these things to read before, but now they're all collected in one place. Now let me break it down (and perhaps add other bonus reads, or links, or whatever, for fun).

A Diamond in the Desert is a travel narrative - one person's experience visiting Abu Dhabi & writing about it. Jo Tatchell is a Brit whose family lived in Abu Dhabi when it was still a frontier town, and she watched the city (and the country) grow up, more or less with her. It's eye-opening in very small ways, actually, but a slow read or re-read will give you an excellent beginning understanding of how Abu Dhabi really works. And how we work within it. Many Western teachers often come across as "We're coming over here to fix your broken system, and this is how you treat us?" It may not be intentional, but it will still get you nowhere fast. A Diamond in the Desert will help you remember how nonessential you really are - that you are merely a visitor, not the savior of the EFL world. And on the subject of being a foreign visitor invited to teach in a Gulf country, have a look at The Woman Who Fell from the Sky by Jennifer Steil. It's about Yemen but still relevant and quite fascinating.

The Lonely Planet Oman UAE etc is the only travel guide that spends much time at all on the UAE outside Dubai. I do prefer Rough Guides generally, but Lonely Planet still caters to the backpacking, adventurous sort of traveller. While you may prefer hotels to hostels, please just trust me when I say Fodors, Frommers, etc are not the travel guides you want for the UAE. It's kind of expensive as books go, around US$30 for the 2010 edition, but if you can't afford to buy all the books on my list, this one will give you a brief overview of everything. I'm always open to new travel guide recommendations, so if you have any, let me know!

Here is where I will link the obligatory LP travel forum: Thorn Tree, and the (in my opinion far more useful) sturdiest competitor BootsnAll. (The whole site is pretty fantastic, but hit up the discussion forums for all kinds of great travel advice.)

Culture Smart UAE is geared more toward business travellers. But it's quite short, about 100 pages, and actually pocket-sized, and packed with useful facts and tables. Read it at least once, make notes, and remember that it's just foundational. But ladies, if you want to know why men don't shake your hand like you're their equal, you'll likely find your answer herein. Additionally it's got the sort of facts and figures the family back home want to know. (Where is Abu Dhabi? Is it safe? How big is it? What time zone are you in? and so on...) I have heard tell of other good AD books; here is an Amazon.com list.

Your First 100 Words in Arabic will teach you classical Arabic, 100 basic words, with flashcards, games, pronunciation, etc. It also comes with a CD, all for under US$20. I take my flashcards with me to work and study them between customers. Compare that with the complete Rosetta Stone Arabic course at US$749 and you may understand why I chose to learn just 100 words. Arabic for Dummies was recommended to me by a customer (I work at a book shop until I start teaching in Abu Dhabi) from Lebanon, who was studying his Arabic at a higher level and said this was a great guide for beginners. It's a great stepping stone once you're at least vaguely comfortable with those first 100 words. 

The BootsnAll article, 17 Questions You Should Ask Before Accepting a TEFL Job, is something I have mentioned a number of times and even created a page for at the top of this blog. I really cannot recommend it enough. These are essential questions you ought to know the answers to before you sign your contract with ADEC or indeed with any TEFL provider. And while I'm talking about pages at the top of this blog, check out the ADEC home page (translate into English) and the ADEC FAQ and assorted links from there. And of course read through ALL the notes and discussion threads going back around 2 years on the Teach Away facebook page. 

Dave's ESL Cafe should be a first stop for any aspiring TEFLer. Go. Read. Ask questions. Read some more. And listen to the generally sage advice of those who've been there, done that, and retired after 20-40 years of doing it. 

As far as the national newspapers, start reading them now. Learn things. Read about what's news in the country you want to make your next home. Get a feel for the news, the style, the interests...Plus, as a grown-up about to embark on an international lifestyle, you should be reading international papers anyway. For more news, pick some other countries and some other news sources in those countries. If all you watch is CNN or Fox News, and all you read is your local news or Yahoo news, you're missing out on the whole rest of the world. More to the point, you're missing out on how the rest of the world thinks. About the world, about themselves, about us (whoever "us" may be). Let me leap up onto a soapbox for a minute. FOLLOW INTERNATIONAL NEWS. FROM INTERNATIONAL OUTLETS.  Because you're smart enough to know that not everyone thinks like you do. Or, for that matter, like I do. And as a teacher, it's essential that you understand there is more than one angle to every tale.

Time Out is for fun. Because, I mean, sometimes you just gotta get out and do something. Go to a concert, get prime seats at the latest hottest restaurant or club or event, figure out exactly which mall is the right mall for the day's shopping needs. Whims. Whatever. 

As to the spelling link, well, by now you might be aware that English in Abu Dhabi uses British spellings, leans toward an Australian curriculum, and hires North American teachers. (I think that's just down to sheer numbers, though.) I taught in England before, and spent some time in Ireland as a student, and you catch on pretty quickly. A good way to increase your acceptance of UK English, though, is to utilise it (see what I did there?) on your blog, in your journal, in letters home, etc. I haven't got a link to the whispered NSW curriculum, but that's because the curriculum for Abu Dhabi is actually still being revised, revamped and developed. You'll probably be flying by the seat of your pants, so think more about creating a curriculum than following one. Just learn your British spellings. 

These are the things I  think are essential to at least review. You may think differently or have more/better/other resources to recommend. I am open to all suggestions but prefer the essential to the interesting. At least when it comes to recommending it to, like, everyone. Tell me what you have used, read, found important in a comment!

Useful Information

from December 2010

I realise it's been awhile since I posted anything useful. So today I'm going to remedy that by giving you a paperwork update.
Three months ago (I can't believe it's been that long already!) when I received word that ADEC wasn't hiring secondary teachers for December placement, I kind of went into suspended animation for awhile. Instead of using that time to collect bits of paperwork from around the country and around the globe, I focused instead on finding work that would not utterly destroy my soul in the (now) year before I leave (hoping, of course, that I'll even get hired with ADEC, which is always but a hope until the contract is signed). Some might call that change of focus practical and responsible.

I suppose it would've been more practical if anything much had come of it. Oh well. That's a story for another day.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I started hearing about new applicants and THEIR paperwork quest. And that's when I realised, I hadn't done a darn thing but study Arabic (I'm up to about 60 words and havealmost got the alphabet figured out). And I thought, Get on the ball, Amy!


So on the ball I have got. Happily, I have a portion of the required paperwork from my last international sojourn. And while that one didn't end well (I came back to America, and ended up spending an entire year working retail. Part time.), it did give me some useful experience. Better still, it gave me a whole sheaf of already-scanned documents. And referees from two different countries. Win.

Of course, now it's holiday time. So getting in touch with teachers and principals and department heads, etc, to get your reference letters is a bit of a challenge. Challenge met! I have heard from my three referees just yesterday and expect letters in the mail soon. And I have another one from my last adventure.

Which leaves me with the following:

• passport-size photos (purchase to have on-hand, also scan and upload)
• certified teacher certificate (have on-hand, just need to scan and upload)
• background check (I'm going the county sheriff route, just need to take the time to get downtown)

I feel good about this. Other than the letters of reference, everything's do-able in about 2 hours. So even though I slacked off on my paper collection for 3 months, I'm still in good shape for January interviews. I just need a presentable interview blouse. And (alas!) a pair of pantyhose or something.

Travel

The more I read the blogs and facebook posts of UAE teachers, the less I think they have travelled.

Now, I'll be honest, I'm probably rather unusual in this regard, as I've been travelling (and living!) overseas since 1996. And even within the US I tend to move to whole different subcultures every time I pack my bags. I don't have many roots, and I'm not terribly attached to any traditions other than going out for coffee and watching the world wander by. And I really don't get homesick. And I really do love living in new places.


So maybe I'm a weirdo. I mean, I, like everyone, get frustrated in the face of a new way of doing something I did quite successfully elsewhere...but in the end, I'm usually flexible enough to take new standards in stride. Two hours to get to the mall in Bangkok? No problem. The dead of night at 3pm? Kind of comforting. Rain 360 days of the year? Is this heaven??!?

(Of course, that last will be practically nonexistent in the UAE, but I think I can be flexible and substitute rain for relentless sunshine.)

What I like most about travelling is the flexible concept of time that most other cultures enjoy. Except when I lived in Britain (where time is kept at least as stringently as it is in the US) - and when I visited Germany - the people of the world (so far) are far less tense about time, on time, late, early, convenience and speed of service, etc. Life is more about people. Other people, usually.

I'm not spectacular about chattering with other people, but I like people. I find them interesting. And I'm usually more than willing to put aside a task (any task, really; I'm not terribly task-oriented) to deal with a person. This proved quite useful in an alternative school environment but was less impressive elsewhere. Whatever. It is a good habit 90% of the time.

Anyway. I like to travel. I'm not too fussed about the traditions of "home" (which topic is a post all its own), and I've managed not to put down roots anywhere much at all - or, conversely, I've put down little roots all over the place! It doesn't take much for me to feel at home, and I quickly find a semblance of balance in any new setting.

I see that a number of new teachers haven't had that experience before they moved to Abu Dhabi. Which is a pity, really, because the stress of forcing a new place to feel like an old place...is just one more stress added to a teacher's day, and it's a stress that's never resolved.

The lucky teachers adjust, find a new normal. The unlucky ones spend a year or two in an untenable situation, possibly sticking it out for the pay, probably giving themselves ulcers in the meantime.

I count myself among the very lucky ones, who've been in that place before - that place of understanding nothing but kind of enjoying it, actually - and have the experience to handle new challenges. Everywhere is different, no one does it like they do back home, and that's not bad or backwards - it's just different.

I like different.

And I strongly believe everyone should have a passport and get out of the country once in awhile!

Read This Book

The other day at work, I happened across a book in the most serendipitous of ways. The book, A Diamond in the Desert, is a travel memoir of where else? Abu Dhabi! Normally I prefer my travel memoirs to be of a more humourous bent (Sex Lives of Cannibals, anyone? Round Ireland With a Fridge?), but from time to time, something more compelling creeps in. And I mean, this one said Abu Dhabi right there on the cover!

It was a serendipitous find because if it had gone onto the shelf in the travel section, I would probably never have seen it. Even though I haunt our teeny tiny travel department like the flippin' ghost of Christmas past, it would likely have escaped my attention. But I was working in the children's department (a welcome respite from my not-altogether-sane boss) and was taking a dozen copies of a book back to the overstock shelves in the receiving room. Children's overstock is right behind the travel shelves, and A Diamond in the Desert was right on the top, face up, waiting ever so patiently for me to see it. Had it not been a Saturday, when our receiving manager does not work (as it's a book shop, and we don't get deliveries on weekends), that book would not have been sitting back there waiting for me at one in the afternoon - it'd already have been on a cart or on the shelf in the travel section. But by some delightful combination of events, it was there, I saw it, and hurrah! I started reading.

Surely this is a sign?

Anyway, after reading the blogs (I love you, UAE bloggers! Please Update!) and being 100% up to date on the facebook discussion pages, I was beginning to feel a little bit....uncertain. Especially if I was supposed to be going over there to work with people who clearly did not understand or care to understand how the rest of the world works (I'm not talking about ADEC or Teach Away, but the other teachers). Then I started reading.

I already wanted to get out my highlighters and pens and make notes in the margins...on page two! In the prologue!

Chèrs teachers in Abu Dhabi, I wish you had read or were reading this book. I'm not finished with it, as preparation (like emailing my Teach Away contact with a new round of questions, or going on a quest for a background check, or trying to find a sensible white shirt that doesn't offend my negligible style sensibilities, or collecting yet another piece of paperwork, or, you know, working) tends to get in the way. Plus, I REALLY want to take notes, which means I need to remember to have my journal with me while I read. So I don't know how it turns out. And I get a small feeling that everything is not sunshine and roses (what's the desert equivalent for that phrase, I wonder? Palm trees and oases?) in that book. But it IS giving me even more insight into a culture quite different from any I've yet encountered.

And it makes the case for Abu Dhabi's innate appeal quite clear:

This city demands surrender. You have to fall in with the unpredictable pace of things. Momentarily overwhelmed with terror and exhilaration (the author is in the back of a taxi), I feel an unexpected wave of affection for the place.

I am so ready to surrender to the glamourous tribal sleek chaotic modern traditional sandy marbled broiling frigid  appeal of Abu Dhabi. Now if they would just hire me and transport my eager self to the other side of the world!

On Culture Shock...On Lies

Recently (within the past few days), I've read a lot of negativity, on the TA facebook page, on ESL Cafe, and on the blogs. And SOOOOOOO much of it comes down to accusations of lying.

That's right. Teachers have begun to publicly accuse the government organisation that has brought them to the UAE as a part of a 10-year education reform, of lying. Of being untrustworthy, scamalicious, thieving liars.

It's very very difficult for me to believe.

Then again, it's not. It seems that many of the teachers hired over the summer have never travelled outside the US before (it seems that a majority of the complaints come, predictably, from Americans), or if they have, they have never encountered problems that their perceived status as Americans couldn't solve. These seem, for the most part, to be people who have always got their way - or at least always gotten what was promised them.

Let me be quite clear: there are always a few people whose problems or complaints are legitimate and cause for concern. This is NEVER the majority. And I am very sorry for those encountering legitimate and very trying situations. And I hope everything gets sorted out soon.


Now. Back to the whole lying thing.


Sometimes, being a Protestant or being raised in a Protestant-based society can pose problems for us once we leave the US. Or indeed, once we leave the comfortable mostly black-and-white concept of reality we grew up with. Everyone in the international working world is aware of the concept of saving face, but we seem to apply it only to Far Eastern cultures (Japan, mostly). Dear teacher, do you really think only the Japanese are concerned about saving face? It just takes a slightly different form in Middle Eastern culture.

My feeling is, take the concept or the essence of anything that's said, and leave the exact wording behind. It's about presenting a calm and prepared and unified facade, whatever's going on underneath. Problems are not solved, they're consensus-ed. The goal in most dilemmas is to reach an agreement through discussion or debate or back-room dealings.

Example: ADEC says "You will receive an AED20,000 furniture allowance." The essence of that statement is: "We will make sure you have some shelter of some sort. Furnished."

ADEC says "You will be paid on the 30th of each month." Well, honestly. Deadlines in a people-oriented nation? See my last post for thoughts on that. The essence of that statement is: "You will be paid." Sooner or later.

Teach Away says "Be ready to fly out on 1 August." The essence...actually, the essence in this instance is the same. But "be ready to" and "you will" are two very different realities.




See, situations like what's happening now with new Western teachers in the UAE are more about preparation and perception than any kind of underhandedness or deviousness on the part of ADEC or Teach Away. The facts are: this is a HUGE education overhaul. This is a HUGE undertaking of both people and resources. 1000 is a HUGE number of people to transport overseas from a handful of different countries, and then to house and pay and organise. The ADEC office in charge of all of this HUGE-ness is, in comparison, quite small. A few people. Maybe a dozen. Probably not 100. And they're still hiring more people for January and then for next year.

ADEC is trying to turn the UAE education system into a bilingual education system. In less than a generation. And this is the forefront. Militarily speaking, these first 2 years are like the grunt on point in a scouting mission: whatever dreadfulness is out there will obliterate the point man, but everyone coming after will have a smoother time because of it.

ADEC is not lying to us. Not as we perceive lying in our forthright American culture. They are telling teachers what they think the teachers want to hear. They are telling them what is more or less true. They are giving the company line. We are just not used to being told anything other than the facts, regardless of how dire. Or if we're promised something, we expect the promise to pan out, and quickly.

Seriously, can you imagine going to your principal or the School Board in the US and saying, "But you promised!" when something doesn't go as expected? How far do you think that'd get you?

It's just not America over there. It's the UAE, and like it or not, your personal comfort is not their priority. Your expectations are not their priority. I'm sorry, it stinks, but they're not out to get you. And they're not lying in order to get their hands on your money or anything like that. It's just a big Gordian knot no one's figured out how to cut yet. So in order to prepare, do your research. Read about Abu Dhabi and more important, read about the business culture there. (I recommend Culture Smart! UAE, or similar.) Get used to the idea that your plans are not of any importance at all. And try to remember that you're one of THOUSANDS, and there's just one guy in the office trying to sort everything out. (Also, make copies of EVERYTHING - EVERYTHING!!! - before you hand anything over.)

Sooner or later, someone will find a sword.

Abaya.

Akifah Abaya

I think this is the abaya I want before I go. Encompassing, but with some teal. And then I could get a black shayla to go with, in order to tone down the quantity of color... Plus, it's on sale. $30ish. Win.

Aarah Abaya

or this one.

Aidah Abaya

or this one, were I an all-around smaller person.




















all via http://www.eastessence.com/

Read.

from September 2010

Today I started reading Culture Smart! - UAE. Also, my Urdu book came in. And some of my lovely bloggers decided to update their blogs today. All in all, a good reading day. Plus, I've decided on my ereader. I'm getting a nook, but I'm waiting to see if they go down in price any more for the hols.

That's all, really. OH WAIT!!!

No it's not. I also discovered dubizzle, thanks to Brandy's blog, and I had an epiphany.

Some of you who know me in real life (or via twitter) will know that I lived in London in 2009. And you may know some of the details of my living arrangement there (my studio flat was about 100 square feet, including bathroom). I paid GBP560 for the privilege of living in that flat. Well, today on dubizzle (seriously, guys, dubizzle), I had a glance at studio flats in Abu Dhabi. The majority of the flats were 500 square feet. Now, mind, prices varied between AED45 and 75000 p/a, but that actually works out to only about $200 (to double the price, depending on location) more per month than I was paying for an 8x12 room in London!

I mean, I don't think I even know what to do with 500 square feet!

And this was my epiphany: I neither need nor want a palatial villa in the desert. Like Eliza Doolittle, all I want is a room somewhere. (With internet. And on a bus route. Also air-conditioned. The rest is 100% negotiable.)

Half an Update

from September 2010 

Questions...answered. Work dress = floor length skirt (or loose trousers, but I'm going skirt), top w/sleeves past the elbow. Cover the chestal area (no cleavage...that means turtlenecks for me!). They say dress shoes, but I've read sandals. Just not flip flops. Yay.

I started transferring a few pennies into my savings account. That may have been stupid; I may have to take them right back out.

Now I'm getting my background check done. I asked which I should get (Teach Away said state or county was fine) considering I've only lived in my current state for a few months and will be getting my ID here in a few days, then decided on my own to go ahead and get another FBI background check done. It's less than $20 and takes as much time as anything else. It's actually cheaper to have the FBI do my background check than the state of South Carolina. Ridiculous, much?

Not Really An Update

from September 2010

So I'm on the Teach Away facebook page a lot. (A lot.) Today the 4th group of September start teachers got notice of their departure date. Very exciting for them, and you can bet I'm feeding off their excitement. (For future readers, should there be any, about 900 teachers were hired this summer to start teaching in September. With such a huge number of teachers, as well as August/Sept encompassing Ramadan, and the simple act of multi-national (primarily CAN, US, UAE) planning, organizing was a trifle discombobulated, and teachers were told to be ready to depart 1 August...but the last group will be leaving by 15 Sept.) And I'm reminding myself that my email full of questions is not a top priority for the office when they are arranging flights and hotels and all the rest for 200 teachers this week. The last message I got from Teach Away (and Laura, my recruiter) was positive. Everything will be fine. It'll all work out. This is the direction of my future, and that's all I need worry about right this second.

Anyway, I'm really pleased for those teachers who are now leaving the US, and really eager to join them.
Staying positive...

From the Blogs

Well, I have now completed my personal reading list (which is every blog of every teacher listed in the UAE Teacher blogroll, right), and I guess I have a few reactions.

lol, I guess. As if there was any chance I wouldn't have a few reactions. I am all reaction all the time!

First reaction: It's very much a hurry-up-and-wait process, this getting hired & transported & placed & settled in Abu Dhabi. And to every question of when, the answer seems to be, "Don't worry, it'll all work out. Inshallah." Which, I'll admit, is kind of how I approach my life anyhow, sans inshallah, so I'm trying to practice patience and a mellow attitude. Which is totally working. Maybe. Well, on Tuesdays anyway.

Second: The first week or 2 (or 3) are spent in the very lap of luxury for orientation. All anyone seems to be able to talk about/post pictures of are the opulent digs and out-of-this-world breakfast spread. No doubt when my turn comes, I'll do and think similar, but it seems a little bit silly to me sitting here on my lumpy bed in South Carolina, how "ooh!" and "ahh!" many of the bloggers are about food and damask curtains. It's a resort, after all. (Of course, I'm ridiculously excited about the possibility of a Waitrose as near as Dubai and will probably blog at length the first time I visit. And people will shake their heads and sigh. Also IKEA, though that's not quite as amazing and wow, since it's nearly everywhere.)

Third: All the wait-and-see is psychologically draining. Blogs that start out all excited and hopeful and I-can't-wait! are slowly but surely--actually, rather quickly, come to think of it--running out of steam. Irritants are showing up. Loneliness and homesickness peek through between paragraphs. Frustration....oh, the frustration. And as part of the frustration, a deep questioning of the decision to put their (the bloggers'/teachers') lives in the hands of Teach Away, ADEC, or anything/anyone outside the norm of what they've been used to. I can see very clearly the need to adopt a "whatever, it'll all work out" attitude. Quickly. And to hold onto it with all of my being.

Fourth: There are a lot of religious people. Maybe I notice the religiosity, overt or covert, because until pretty recently I'd be in there giving it all up to God with them. Or maybe this is how all non-believers read religious people's blogs. (Note: I am talking about the Good Christian Girls and Boys. Also note I am not bothered by all the religion going on - if it makes them happy, so be it. I just know it didn't make me happy, and few days in my life have been more freeing than the one on which I left all that religion behind. About a year ago. So being non-religious is a new thing for me, which is probably why I notice it so much in the blogs I've been reading.) A couple of blogs stand out for not being so innately religious.

Fifth: My blog has a vastly different...tone. Apparently I am bothered about things that More Serious People are not (read: clothes). At least not in the same way. And I'm just not that serious. I gave up serious when I gave up being religious. Also, from time to time, I swear. Stephen Fry is right about that. And I don't talk an awful lot about teaching (that will probably change as I re-immerse myself in academia. Or education. Which is sometimes quite a different beast.) Well, whatever, I enjoy my tone. Humorous, I like to pretend. Flippant, probably. Eager, like the nerd I am.

I dunno, this is just the way I've always approached life. Bumping into harsh reality from time to time but mainly existing in a realm of laughter and whimsy. I suppose I simply don't take life all that seriously. Well, and why would I? Few things are actually that serious. The rest-- Well, I suppose if you do your best, please your bosses, and meet/surpass expectations, the rest is just fun times, innit? Even when it's not?

Anyway, I am looking forward to my next read-through of the UAE blogroll. I think I'll wait a week and see how everyone's settled in. That'll be informative for sure!




eta: also, a lot of these teachers (on the fb board, not necessarily the bloggers) seem not to be travellers in real life. This leap to AD seems to be a Major Life Change. And, okay, fair enough. But that's another difference. I feel like I've been in transit my whole life long, and an international mover for (omg) fourteen years. Maybe that is the main reason I'm not all that het up about moving or waiting (and waiting, and waiting, etc).